HUMEROUS EDUCATION

Humorous Education……….

Mahesh Thapa Magar.......


FUNNY Mathematics:
*Our teacher taught like this:*
Lim 5x+3 = ∞ so, Lim 5x+3 = ∪-
x->8 8x-64 x->5 8x-40

*Theorem:1.Prove,log(-1) = 0
Proof:
a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)
On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0
Combining a) and b) gives:
2* log(-1) = 0
Divide both sides by 2:
log(-1) = 0 proved…..
*Theorem:2.Prove,3=4
Proof:
Suppose:a+b=c ,This can br written as: 4a-3a+4b-3b=4c-3c
After rearranging,4a+4b-4c=3a+3b-3c
Taking the constants common:4(a+b-c)=3(a+b-c)
Cancelling the same terms at LS and RS,we get
4=3……….Proved
*Theorem:3.Prove ,Pass= Fail *Expand:(a+b)^n
Proof:
Sol: (a+b)n
Pass=No fail…………(1) =(a + b)^n
No pass=fail…………(2) =(a + b)^n
Adding Eqn 1 & 2, =(a + b)^n…..etc
Or, Pass+No pass=No fail+fail
Or, Pass(1+No)=fail(No+1)
Therefore,Pass= Fail…….proved


**1.A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: "I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am ex."
**2. What is pi?
Mathematician: "pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
Engineer: "pi is about 22/7."
Physicist: "pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."
Computer Programmer: "piis 3.141592653589 in double precision."
Nutritionist: "You one track math-minded fellows, Pi is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
**3. This isn't really a joke, it supposedly happened in a UK GCSE exam some years ago, but it may amuse you:
Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards?
A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.
**4 . Q: What does an analytic number theorist say when he is drowning?
A: Log-log, log-log, log-log, . . .
**5. Engineer, physicist and mathematician are asked to find the value of 2+2.
Engineer (after 3 minutes, with a slide rule): "The answer is precisely 3.9974."
Physicist (after 6 hours of experiments): "The value is approximately 4.002, with an error of plus-or-minus 0.005."
Mathematician (after a week of calculation): "Well, I haven't found an answer yet but I can prove that an answer exists."
**6.CHEKING IN(ANSWER ON YOUR OWN AND HAND TO YOUR INSTRUCTOR)
Q:The water of the earth’s oceans stores of heat.An engineer designed an ocean liner that would extract heat from the ocean’s water at Th=10℃(283K) & reject heat to the atmosphere at T1=20℃(293K).He thought he had a good idea,but his boss fired him.Explain.
Ans:Because he slept with his boss’ wife.




FUNNY SCIENCE(…..):
*1.All the physicists are playing hide and seek. Einstein is the ‘den’ and stands against the wall with his eyes closed and counts till 100 to enable all the physicists to run and hide. At the count of 100 Einstein turns around and finds Newton standing there.He screams, “Newton, you are out!” Newton says, “No, I ‘m not!”Einstein says, “Yes, you are. I can see you here in front of me”.
Newton says, “I’m not out. Pascal is.” Einstein is a bit confused and starts to scratch his head and beard. Newton says “Here, Let me explain”He draws a square one meter by one meter on the floor and stands in the middle of it and says, “Newton per meter square is a Pascal, so it’s Pascal who’s out not me”

**2.A hydrogen atom came running into a police station asking for help....
Hydrogen atom: "Someone just stole my electron!"
Policeman: "Are you sure?"
Hydrogen atom: "Yes, I'm positive"
Policeman: "Oh, I thought you were just being negative again."
**3. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.
Erwin Schrödinger: The chicken crossed the road and didn't cross the road simultaneously.
**4. Engineer, physicist and mathematician are asked to find the value of 2+2.
Engineer (after 3 minutes, with a slide rule): "The answer is precisely 3.9974."
Physicist (after 6 hours of experiments): "The value is approximately 4.002, with an error of plus-or-minus 0.005."
Mathematician (after a week of calculation): "Well, I haven't found an answer yet but I can prove that an answer exists."



**5.Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
**6.Questions of the year 068
Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion.
Q:Why do white bears dissolve in water? A:Because they're polar.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
Q:When was Heisenberg born?
A:Oh, that's very uncertain.
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."




FUNNY C PROGRAMMIG:
/*C Program to Propose a girl*/
#include
#include
#define Cute beautiful_lady
main()
{
goto college;
scanf(“100%”,&ladies);
if(lady ==Cute)
line++;

while( !reply )
{
printf(“I Love U”);
scanf(“100%”,&reply);
}
if(reply == “GAALI”)
main(); /* go back and repeat the process */
else if(reply == “SANDAL “)
exit(1);
else if(reply == “I Love U”)
{lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
}
goto restaurant;
restaurant:{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college);
}
if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;
cinema:{
watch++;
if(intermission){
coke++;
Popecorn++;}
}if(time ==6.00)
goto park;
park:{
for(time=6.30;time<= 8.30;time+=0.001)
kiss = kiss+1;
}free(lover);
return(home);
}